Datebility:

GET GOOD IN THE KITCHEN TO BE BETTER IN BED

“APHRODISIACS, THE FACTS BEHIND THE FOLKLORE” BY: LESLEY KLEIN, MS, RD, LD/N According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, aphrodisiacs are various forms of stimulation thought to arouse sexual excitement. They may be classified in one of two groups. The first group is psychophysiological. These include all of our senses; sight, feel, smell or sound. The second group, internal, stems from food, drugs, alcoholic drinks, love potions and medical preparations. Aphrodisiacs date back to ancient times with documentation to the first century AD. Despite popular interest, there are almost no scientific studies involving aphrodisiacs. ...

The Permission for Pleasure: Part 1—Fun and Functional Erections

Obtaining and maintaining an erection is not always an easy task. Social messaging has groomed us into thinking that men must be first-class performers, often and always. In reality, many of us get stage fright and go gun shy. This is a very normal reaction. However, sexuality is not about the performance. It is about the journey towards creating pleasure. Pleasure is enjoying the experience, with or without an erection, with or without an orgasm. The trick lies in making that switch to a mindset of pleasure. Because the mind is a powerful tool, I always advise starting with 10 ...

Men Are Babies, Women Are Nuts

Men are babies, women are nuts. How true, these clichés? I know that I’ve been seen as a baby (“seen” right; I could never have actually “been”), and I know that I’ve experienced some women as pretty much certifiably nuts. All in the context of certain situations, of course. We’re all quite sane in our own ways at the right times. And just to protect myself a bit, a dear friend I’ve know for almost 40 years — a woman, please note — who is a clinical psychologist recently, and entirely independently, volunteered to me that women are indeed, nuts. I’m not making this ...

I’m Crazy About You, and You Make Me Crazy

We are hormonal beings, for sure. When we’re attracted to someone, we know it, because all kinds of metabolic activity overruns us. Heart rate goes up, adrenaline kicks in, and various other, uh, physical manifestations take place. We’re all just wired for this. Whether you believe it’s evolution or “design” (obviously not the belief I subscribe to), we’ve got automated systems to ensure procreation of the race. I’ve always been amazed by the more extreme times this has happened to me. There have been a few women I’ve encountered who had such a physiological and psychic impact on me by their very ...

I Don’t Fit, But I’m Hot

I “don’t fit.” As in “don’t match the commercially imposed image of what it is to be sexy.” Or attractive. Or appealing. Or dynamite in bed — much less a life partner. The social pressure seems more immense than ever to fit some image of what it is to be cool. It seems like people are falling into an unconscious standard of being mainly attracted to someone based on how they fit the current social image. Which is, after all, designed by marketers and purveyors of style who need to keep people wanting new stuff so they can sell it to you. I know I’m ...

Acceptance

No matter how deeply we fall in love, no matter how much we like our partners, no matter how much we come to understand their past and their disappointments and their world view, they are going to do things that we’ll find irritating. Maybe really upsetting. Or even enraging. It might be some small behavior, like a kind of laugh or a habit of breaking the binding on a softcover book to get it to lay flat. The possibilities are infinite, right? There are deeper varieties of difference. Our partner just might not be able to abide a dear friend, might react ...

A Man’s Secret Sex Weapon—Age!

Society has perpetuated the myth that age means the death of the sex drive. Quite the contrary! Our need for sex and love does not diminish because we are sporting a few extra wrinkles. Yes, with time, men will experience natural changes in their human sexual response. Testosterone—the hormone that incites the sex drive—will gradually fade. Erections may take longer to attain or more difficult to maintain. Orgasms may feel shorter or less forceful. And the penis may undergo a longer refractory period before another erection can be achieved again. But slowing down is the secret weapon that can make ...

Masterbation vs. Making Love

Many of my clients ask: If my partner masturbates, does this mean that he/she does not want to make love to me? To start, masturbation is a very healthy activity. Most men, and many women, masturbate—whether in a relationship or not. Masturbation creates an opportunity for a person to explore his/her sexuality, desire, and arousal in a relaxed setting free from STDs and pregnancy. Many people perceive masturbation as the surest and safest sex. To start, let us think of the human body like a big, topographical map. If our bodies are each unique maps, we cannot expect our partners to ...